Couldn't Care Less Homes

As part of my job, I also get to do Patient Transport (PTS) work, usually taking patients from one hospital to another, or taking them back home. Most of the patients are elderly, and a good proportion smell of wee, marvellous. I used to think that it was only nightclubs that had sticky carpets, but I also know of a number of care homes that also have a similar feel, I wonder if it's for the same reason? I'll be honest here, this part of the job boils my wee. Care home staff who don't give a toss, the owners of care homes who don't give a toss, no vehicle access, no stretcher access and nowhere to transfer a patient with any resemblance of dignity, all add up to Paul not being a happy bunny.

Last week we arrived at a Residential home 'out of office hours', we parked across the entrance in our discreet little ambulance, you know the kind of thing, bright yellow, battenburg markings, the word AMBULANCE written on the sides, on the back, on the front and lots of lights all over it. We dropped the rear suspension, lowered the ramp, unclamped the stretcher, wheeled the patient out, collected the patients bags, belongings etc, and walked to a locked door, searched for a doorbell, pressed the doorbell repeatedly, to find less life than on the Marie Celeste.

Cue a cold and pissed off Ambulance crew, loading a patient back into the back of the warm Ambulance, and a call to 118118 to get the phone number of the home to ring them, and ask them if it isn't too much trouble, to open the door....

It turns out that there are only three members of staff on 'tonight', and unsurprisingly they were busy, we wheeled the patient into the foyer, then had to lift her from our nice warm comfy stretcher into a cold crappy wheelchair as the stretcher won't fit into the lift.

When we first started to do this job, we thought we were just picking up the crap jobs that the NHS trust didn't want to do, as if they were only picking up the 'gucci' patients, and jobs up, and leaving the crap for us. As it happens, now we can't blame them for not wanting to be messed about, they have targets to achieve, we however, don't....... Thank goodness.

Waiting for the off...

(Originally posted via mobile phone)
Well, as I type this, i'm waiting in a theatre staff room. Everyone else is dressed in blue scrubs and there's me and a colleague in uniform, and ambulance jackets sticking out like sore thumbs. The news is on the telly, showing storms that have hit the uk. Airports closed, flooded towns and chaos further south. I've got 93 miles to do on blues with an organ for transplant when its ready. I've already driven 134 miles from base to here, so I know what the roads are like, wet, greasy, and less than perfect visibility. Still, that's what i'm here for, sit and wait, then off, maximum drive..

: As it happened, the Lungs weren't suitable for transplant, so ended up with a further journey south, to take a patient into another hospital for transplant, then to be given a Kidney from the original hospital, to be taken 30 miles from home, tuning it into a long day with lots of mileage, and no blues... Bah!!

An unexpected night off....

Todays shift should have started at 18.00 hrs, but due to a colleague ringing in sick (red and itchy rash apparently, although I don't know whereabouts on his body the rash actually is.....) i'll be needed in Hull tomorrow to transport more wrinklies between hospitals and care homes, to cover his shift, otherwise I would have collected a response car from our yard, along with the neccesary mobile phone, and sat at home 'on call' with my uniform and bag all ready to go when the phone rings, for any transplant or mental health jobs that come in within our area. So i've had a quiet day, but didn't finish until gone midnight in Hull yesterday, so I don't feel too bad about it. I've learnt to enjoy the quiet times, as the job can go 'manic' very quickly.

Saving Some Bacon.. Or, Every Little Helps

It's been a funny day so far, a blue light run so a patient could see her husband who, it would seem, was about to die in another hospital 10 miles away. Stopped a shoplifter in Tesco from stealing some bacon, leaving us with a good boot print in the back door of the Ambulance, we held on to the scrote for a while to help the shop security guard detain him, but when he threatened to stab me and my colleague, we decided enough was enough and asked the police for assistance, the scrote and his mate legged it, only after having a go at my crewmate and I and booting the back doors of our big white taxi. So, as I type this, we are waiting for a patients relatives to turn up so we can let the old guy get back into his house, despite the assurance that there would be someone waiting, we've been here half an hour, and the other patient we have on board, has pissed his pants... Great... What time do I finish?